20. Cazwell

Featured

Damn…Wait what were we talking about? Oh yeah, Cazwell. He’s one of the biggest New York gaylebrities. He’s been called Gay-Z. This sexy piece of meat frequents gay club stereos because of his sexy words, videos featuring shirtless hotties (like himself) and bright colors, all of which happen to be on every gay’s Christmas wish list. He has collaborated with all the gay greats: Colton Ford, Amanda Lepore and even the queen of foul lyrics herself, Peaches.

Most Tuesdays he brings his beefcake self at G Lounge in Chelsea. If you haven’t heard of him, think of his style as gay Eminem, however rather than rapping about his anger, he talks about being a semen painter. He’s apparently working on new music for an album that may come out this year. He talks about it in a Huffington Post article. Hopefully it will contain his style of you’re-a-douche-but-sexy  lyrics, like these:

From “The Sex That I Need”:

I rocked his world with mad stamina
hot like panama, shot like an enema
I’m sending your ass back to the store to get some rubbers
so I can change the covers”

From “Watch My Mouth”:

“Take off the Speedo
I’ll eat you like a Cheeto
You knew I was a freak
Don’t look surprised
When your ankles end up behind your eyes”

From “All Over Your Face”:

baby, its all over your face
looks like you’ve been eating paste
I came too close in your direction,
DNA on your complexion

He’s so hot. I would eat his fries anyday. Follow his Twitter @CAZWELLnyc.

19. Cats

Featured

[Warning: This post will include an overload of cute pictures]

When New York gets to you, it’s nice to have a furry friend to keep you company. We shower cats with the love we haven’t been able to give to a significant other. Unfortunately for the cat, this can be overabundant at times. That’s when cats make that “get the f off of me” face.

Some gays see furry friends as a way to have children without having to deal with diapers or vaginas (aka gay krytonite). That’s why we often call cats our babies, cause they are like people to us. We even ask cats for fashion advice. What you don’t believe me? Look, there’s a video proving all of this.

Why do gays love cats? Well, cats are like gay men: they run away from you when you want them, they scratch when provoked, and no matter what they always land on their feet.

Ok, time to give you what you want…

Thanks to http://hotguyswithkittens.tumblr.com, http://iheartcatgifs.tumblr.com and http://fluffy-kittens.tumblr.com.

18. Using Words Black Women Created

Featured

We steal words strong black women originated. It may be our admiration of divas or our obsession with sass, but gays definitely have stolen millions of words that black women created. Like what you ask? Here are a few notable examples:

Fierce: Gay men stole fierce with a vengeance. It is now a gay word exclusively. This may be because of Christian Siriano but really, gay men were going to steal fierce regardless. It’s such a great adjective to describe everything gay men love. Gays enjoy getting in the zone when dancing, singing, hell even just walking down the road brushing hos off.

Girl (aka ‘Gurl’ or ‘Guh’): 

We stole girl and we ran with it. Now gay men in New York (and everywhere really) call each other girl. Maybe it’s because we wanted to reclaim the word as a statement against stereotypes in the way that some girls call themselves the top bitch. Or maybe it just made us giggle.

Work: This is another word gays just love using. It means to strut your stuff better than those haters. We adopted work, however in the gay community it has levels.

Cut a bitch- Gays, we can be nice but sometimes people do something so out of order that you just have to cut a bitch. You can’t be blamed if a bitch cutting is in order. What is so great about the expression is that although there certainly have been innovations in combat weapons such as guns or even tasers, there’s something about cutting a bitch like a steak that still appeals to us.

Thirsty: This is one of the most secret words that only gays and black women know about. I hate to share it publicly, but I hope I will further unite gays and black girls everywhere. When one is thirsty it isn’t water or a can of soda that is needed. No, when a gay is thirsty it means he needs a man right now. When you go to a gay bar and you smell the desperation in the air, you know there be some thirsty girls on the prowl. I’ll use it in a sentence so you get its usage: “I was going to have Greg over to hang out with my boyfriend and I but lately he has been one thirsty guh.”

17. Brunch

Featured

Gays in New York definitely love brunch. If you happen to have a homo-pal, you will often wake up on a sunday morning to a text that says “brunchies?” There are a million reasons New York gays love brunch, but here are four of the best:

1. Brunch is classy– Nothing says you are a classy bitch person like a good brunch. The whole concept of brunch is that a person is too baller to wake up early for breakfast but also not slovenly to the point that his/her first meal of the day is lunch. There’s a beautiful elegance to brunch in the way that it always implies a sexy casualness to it in between the two meals… which brings me to my next point.

2. It’s the best of breakfast and lunch– The amazing thing about brunch is that some foods you would not normally eat for breakfast or for lunch are allowed in a brunch setting. For instance, in the early hours of the morning it would be a no-no to eat prosciutto or during lunch time you would be forsaken if you ate bacon. But during brunch there are no rules, which includes another beautiful feature of brunch.

3. You can day drink and look sexy for doing so-

Whether it is a mimosa or a Bloody Mary, gays looks so sexy while having a drink during the daytime. If you have a drink for breakfast, you’re an alcoholic. If you have a drink for lunch, you’re an alcoholic. If you have a drink for brunch, you are the sexiest stud that ever hit studtown. This may be due to the fact that if you get right down to it, every gay wants to be Lucille Bluth

4. The morning after gossip– Okay come on, tell the truth shame the devil. Brunch is mainly so we can talk some shit about other people. Brunch is the most social meal and it usually occurs after a night out. So whether it is about a misguided pass someone made after a few to many or maybe it’s just the plain situation of some gay chickenhead stole your man, they need to be discussed.

16. Apple Products

One of the staples of being a New York Mo is having Apple products from cell phones, to laptops and computers…. but it’s not enough to have just the basics. We have to have the iPad, the wireless mouse, the iFridge, the iPotty, the iEye… oddly enough, Apple is the closest thing we have to the ‘gay lifestyle’ conservatives believe we live. But it makes sense that we have these expensive gadgets: gays are rich enough to own all apple has to offer unlike other people…

Apple knows whats up. Apparently, they hired a fellow homobro to replace Steve Jobs. However, the rest of the world hasn’t caught up with gays when it comes to the iPhone, or any smart phone for that matter; over 90 percent of people do not have smart phones. It’s sad that most of the world is missing out on the beautiful world of things like apps that can help you with directions, scanning documents, even finding love. Speaking of, here at SNYGL we found three helpful dating apps for gays (that are not freaking Grindr):

Date Check– Wanna know if the person you are about to go out on a date with is crazy before you meet them? This free app allows you to enter the name, phone number or email address of your potential date and find out crucial facts that may make you head for the hills. Their tagline? “Look up before you hook up.”

Passion– Wanna know how good you are at sexing people? There’s an app for that! This application will rate your sexual performance based on how long the ordeal lasts, the…ehem… power  (measured by the iPhone’s built-in accelerometer) and how loud you are, rating you a score out of 10. Not only that but you can share your results with people around the world.

iPickup Lines– I don’t really need to explain this app, but I’ll give you examples of suggestions it gives: “I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.” “Baby you’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems.” “POOF! (What are u doing?) I’m here, where are your other two wishes?” “Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!”

…But seriously Apple on behalf of the gay community of New York, we thank you for support. We know you are with us every step of the way; after all, you named your company after a fruit (bu-dum-chic).

15. Underwear

All New York gays began running into parking meters, streetlights and newspaper stands when advertisements for David Beckham’s H&M underwear campaign was first unveiled. We all wanted to see the Brit in the buff and suddenly our wish came true. In fact, one can see his crotch blown up several meters wide many places in Manhattan. But there is a reason retailers gave us Beckham’s Homo-Christmas package to us early.

Retail industry experts are predicting that the US will experience strong sales in retail this spring and summer. One item that sales analysts will be focusing on is underwear. Yes, it’s true: old businessmen will be watching you shopping for undies very closely. The reason behind this focus is because of something called the men’s underwear index (MUI); reasoning is that men’s underwear is a necessity so its sales should remain steady, save times of extreme economic turmoil when men wait to buy new underwear. One big supporter of the theory is economist Alan Greenspan.

If you believe this trend is a valid economic indicator, perhaps you should start investing now in your favorite underwear brand. National Purchase Diary Group (NPD) reported that total men’s underwear sales jumped 6.4 percent, to $3.28 billion in 2011.

Underwear has suddenly become hot. In fact there is now a Groupon for undergarments. CheapUndies.com, finds underwear deals for around 60 percent off. Co-founder Michael Grider told BusinessInsider.com, “People shouldn’t have to pay outrageous prices for a nice bra or a pair of boxers.” Don’t worry, they aren’t used (but if you want a pair of broken in undies, you can find them here).

What? Not freaked out enough? Well, someone was crazy enough to come up with a male version of pantyhose called ‘Mantyhose’. Sadly website e-mancipate.net offers many different varieties of Mantyhose for men; a man hoping to slim can buy a pair in a black-orange pattern, camouflage, and sheer white like an old country Englishman. Whats worse is that Forbes released an article with five reasons why Mantyhose can become the next Spanx. What. The. Hell.

Although there are many different underwear brands, there are a few frontrunners in the market:

2(x)ist, which is located in Midtown Manhattan. The creative director currently is Jason Scarlatti who also is a comedian, oddly enough.

C-IN2 launched in 2005 is headed by Greg Sovell who used to head 2(x)ist. He created the brand to compete with his former product. Its designs are big in the fashion industry, leading to its early success.

Fashion designer Andrew Christian has his own brand of underwear. The biggest line is ‘The Flashback’ that creates a bubblebutt without gym work.

From Australia comes the brand aussieBum,  which has gained  achieved internationa lrecognition Rather, the brand relies on its online presence which is why it looks like this.

14. Celebrity Beefs

Fights are unfortunate when they happen… UNLESS THE PEOPLE ARE FAMOUS!!! When two stars fight, it’s just awesome. Most people on television are ridiculous so when pitted against each other sparks fly. Although some fights have been pretty lame, but some get pretty juicy. Ladies and gentleman it’s time for Celebrity Throwdown, where we ask who would win in a fight between celebrities who have beefs and a pairing we did just for shiggles (see what I did there?):

M.I.A. VS Anderson Cooper

Just last night Sri Lankan recording artist M.I.A. (@MIAuniverse) got into a Twitter fight with Anderson Cooper (@andersoncooper). Their conversation in full is included below. They get pretty heated gurl… It’s so juicy.

We’re not going to get into what they’re arguing about, mostly because it would probably involve a lot of research to understand… and not like a Wiki page browsing research but like I have to sit down, read and comprehend that shit, like New York Times National Geographic-y things…and even if I did it would be really depressing and completely inappropriate on the blog, so we’ll just get to the real question: who would win in a fight?

I know what you’re thinking: Anderson has muscles like whoa, but remember: Anderson Cooper is a 5’10” teddy bear. He’s adorable and most likely not up for a real fight. M.I.A. on the other hand is crazy. Her drum beats are made up of gun shots. She had a falling out with her former producer. She ate your baby. She’s scary, and not in the Nicki Minaj tourettes way but in like a I’ma kill you way. Speaking of…

Nicki Minaj VS Lil’ Kim

One of the most publicized beefs in rap celebrity history has to be Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj. This is because of the fact that Lil’ Kim fell out of relevance and Nicki has not let her forget it. Every one of Nicki Minaj’s songs seem to reference Kimmie. She has said that Kim was a ‘Stupid Hoe’ and that her ‘career was dead, ghostbusters’. Lil Kim has called her a ho too and posted a song herself smearing Minaj.

So who would win a fight? Lil’ Kim went to jail so we know she has some scrap to her. She also dated Notorious B.I.G. and if that doesn’t qualify her as tough, it sure as hell qualifies her as physically strong (I mean, can you imagine their…you know). However, Nicki has multiple personalities along with YMCMB. She also has her secret weapon: her ass. After all, Nicki Minaj’s ass is so big it ate Kim’s career.

Lady Gaga VS Madonna

Lady Gaga and Madonna parodied this rivalry on SNL but recently during media rounds in promotion of her new album MDNA, Madge is tawkin sum mess. She called Gaga’s music reductive and a copy. Gaga… well she’s probably filming for her role in the new Men In Black movie.

So who would win? Madonna gyms incessantly. Her body looks like a coat hanger. It’s gross ut you know she is probably a strong woman. Plus lord knows her body has taken a beating. However Gaga’s body is made out of this. Gaga also has the power to shape shift, though Madonna has the power to eat the youth out of young people.

Meryl Streep VS Chuck Norris

We are risking our lives talking about this, but everyone knows Meryl Streep and Chuck Norris are sworn enemies. Both are known to be older than the earth. They both have superhuman abilities. Both are rumored to be mortal incarnations of Greek gods: Meryl Streep was the Goddess of theatre and slayin’ bitches, Chuck Norris was known to be the the God of the roundhouse kick and emperor of the world. An actual fist fight between the two would probably be the end of the world.

So what if everyone above got into a fight? Who would win? Vote now on the celebrity you think would win.