[Warning: This post will include an overload of cute pictures]
When New York gets to you, it’s nice to have a furry friend to keep you company. We shower cats with the love we haven’t been able to give to a significant other. Unfortunately for the cat, this can be overabundant at times. That’s when cats make that “get the f off of me” face.
Some gays see furry friends as a way to have children without having to deal with diapers or vaginas (aka gay krytonite). That’s why we often call cats our babies, cause they are like people to us. We even ask cats for fashion advice. What you don’t believe me? Look, there’s a video proving all of this.
Why do gays love cats? Well, cats are like gay men: they run away from you when you want them, they scratch when provoked, and no matter what they always land on their feet.
Ok, time to give you what you want…
Thanks to http://hotguyswithkittens.tumblr.com, http://iheartcatgifs.tumblr.com and http://fluffy-kittens.tumblr.com.
We steal words strong black women originated. It may be our admiration of divas or our obsession with sass, but gays definitely have stolen millions of words that black women created. Like what you ask? Here are a few notable examples:
Fierce: Gay men stole fierce with a vengeance. It is now a gay word exclusively. This may be because of Christian Siriano but really, gay men were going to steal fierce regardless. It’s such a great adjective to describe everything gay men love. Gays enjoy getting in the zone when dancing, singing, hell even just walking down the road brushing hos off.
Girl (aka ‘Gurl’ or ‘Guh’):
We stole girl and we ran with it. Now gay men in New York (and everywhere really) call each other girl. Maybe it’s because we wanted to reclaim the word as a statement against stereotypes in the way that some girls call themselves the top bitch. Or maybe it just made us giggle.
Work: This is another word gays just love using. It means to strut your stuff better than those haters. We adopted work, however in the gay community it has levels.
Cut a bitch- Gays, we can be nice but sometimes people do something so out of order that you just have to cut a bitch. You can’t be blamed if a bitch cutting is in order. What is so great about the expression is that although there certainly have been innovations in combat weapons such as guns or even tasers, there’s something about cutting a bitch like a steak that still appeals to us.
Thirsty: This is one of the most secret words that only gays and black women know about. I hate to share it publicly, but I hope I will further unite gays and black girls everywhere. When one is thirsty it isn’t water or a can of soda that is needed. No, when a gay is thirsty it means he needs a man right now. When you go to a gay bar and you smell the desperation in the air, you know there be some thirsty girls on the prowl. I’ll use it in a sentence so you get its usage: “I was going to have Greg over to hang out with my boyfriend and I but lately he has been one thirsty guh.”
All New York gays began running into parking meters, streetlights and newspaper stands when advertisements for David Beckham’s H&M underwear campaign was first unveiled. We all wanted to see the Brit in the buff and suddenly our wish came true. In fact, one can see his crotch blown up several meters wide many places in Manhattan. But there is a reason retailers gave us Beckham’s Homo-Christmas package to us early.
Retail industry experts are predicting that the US will experience strong sales in retail this spring and summer. One item that sales analysts will be focusing on is underwear. Yes, it’s true: old businessmen will be watching you shopping for undies very closely. The reason behind this focus is because of something called the men’s underwear index (MUI); reasoning is that men’s underwear is a necessity so its sales should remain steady, save times of extreme economic turmoil when men wait to buy new underwear. One big supporter of the theory is economist Alan Greenspan.
If you believe this trend is a valid economic indicator, perhaps you should start investing now in your favorite underwear brand. National Purchase Diary Group (NPD) reported that total men’s underwear sales jumped 6.4 percent, to $3.28 billion in 2011.
Underwear has suddenly become hot. In fact there is now a Groupon for undergarments. CheapUndies.com, finds underwear deals for around 60 percent off. Co-founder Michael Grider told BusinessInsider.com, “People shouldn’t have to pay outrageous prices for a nice bra or a pair of boxers.” Don’t worry, they aren’t used (but if you want a pair of broken in undies, you can find them here).
What? Not freaked out enough? Well, someone was crazy enough to come up with a male version of pantyhose called ‘Mantyhose’. Sadly website e-mancipate.net offers many different varieties of Mantyhose for men; a man hoping to slim can buy a pair in a black-orange pattern, camouflage, and sheer white like an old country Englishman. Whats worse is that Forbes released an article with five reasons why Mantyhose can become the next Spanx. What. The. Hell.
Although there are many different underwear brands, there are a few frontrunners in the market:
2(x)ist, which is located in Midtown Manhattan. The creative director currently is Jason Scarlatti who also is a comedian, oddly enough.
C-IN2 launched in 2005 is headed by Greg Sovell who used to head 2(x)ist. He created the brand to compete with his former product. Its designs are big in the fashion industry, leading to its early success.
Fashion designer Andrew Christian has his own brand of underwear. The biggest line is ‘The Flashback’ that creates a bubblebutt without gym work.
From Australia comes the brand aussieBum, which has gained achieved internationa lrecognition Rather, the brand relies on its online presence which is why it looks like this.
Fights are unfortunate when they happen… UNLESS THE PEOPLE ARE FAMOUS!!! When two stars fight, it’s just awesome. Most people on television are ridiculous so when pitted against each other sparks fly. Although some fights have been pretty lame, but some get pretty juicy. Ladies and gentleman it’s time for Celebrity Throwdown, where we ask who would win in a fight between celebrities who have beefs and a pairing we did just for shiggles (see what I did there?):
We’re not going to get into what they’re arguing about, mostly because it would probably involve a lot of research to understand… and not like a Wiki page browsing research but like I have to sit down, read and comprehend that shit, like New York Times National Geographic-y things…and even if I did it would be really depressing and completely inappropriate on the blog, so we’ll just get to the real question: who would win in a fight?
I know what you’re thinking: Anderson has muscles like whoa, but remember: Anderson Cooper is a 5’10” teddy bear. He’s adorable and most likely not up for a real fight. M.I.A. on the other hand is crazy. Her drum beats are made up of gun shots. She had a falling out with her former producer. She ate your baby. She’s scary, and not in the Nicki Minaj tourettes way but in like a I’ma kill you way. Speaking of…
Nicki Minaj VS Lil’ Kim
One of the most publicized beefs in rap celebrity history has to be Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj. This is because of the fact that Lil’ Kim fell out of relevance and Nicki has not let her forget it. Every one of Nicki Minaj’s songs seem to reference Kimmie. She has said that Kim was a ‘Stupid Hoe’ and that her ‘career was dead, ghostbusters’. Lil Kim has called her a ho too and posted a song herself smearing Minaj.
So who would win a fight? Lil’ Kim went to jail so we know she has some scrap to her. She also dated Notorious B.I.G. and if that doesn’t qualify her as tough, it sure as hell qualifies her as physically strong (I mean, can you imagine their…you know). However, Nicki has multiple personalities along with YMCMB. She also has her secret weapon: her ass. After all, Nicki Minaj’s ass is so big it ate Kim’s career.
Lady Gaga VS Madonna
Lady Gaga and Madonna parodied this rivalry on SNL but recently during media rounds in promotion of her new album MDNA, Madge is tawkin sum mess. She called Gaga’s music reductive and a copy. Gaga… well she’s probably filming for her role in the new Men In Black movie.
So who would win? Madonna gyms incessantly. Her body looks like a coat hanger. It’s gross ut you know she is probably a strong woman. Plus lord knows her body has taken a beating. However Gaga’s body is made out of this. Gaga also has the power to shape shift, though Madonna has the power to eat the youth out of young people.
Meryl Streep VS Chuck Norris
We are risking our lives talking about this, but everyone knows Meryl Streep and Chuck Norris are sworn enemies. Both are known to be older than the earth. They both have superhuman abilities. Both are rumored to be mortal incarnations of Greek gods: Meryl Streep was the Goddess of theatre and slayin’ bitches, Chuck Norris was known to be the the God of the roundhouse kick and emperor of the world. An actual fist fight between the two would probably be the end of the world.
So what if everyone above got into a fight? Who would win? Vote now on the celebrity you think would win.
Haters are the best. As you soar, they have comments galore. As you conquer the game, they gossip about your fame. As you get rich, they start to bitch.
Haters are the best because as they talk about you more and more, you get that much more popular. Haters also indicate how successful you are. If you have no haters, you have no accomplishments. They are essential barometers of your abilities and if you amass a multitude of them, you’ve done it right. But the best part about haters is finding out how much of a shit you don’t give about another person’s opinion.
The gay community has many haters. Let’s talk about three of the biggest offenders (though there are so many we could talk about):
Everybody is waiting for the day when Rick Santorum is caught in a urinal with a boy prostitute. The man thinks about gay sex more than sex toy makers in San Francisco. He has alienated the gay community so much that his view on homosexuality has its own Wiki page. He recently was quoted saying: “Gay people should stop being gay.” When he walks down the street and sees a gay, this is what he sees.
One Million Moms
The organization One Million Moms gained popularity after targeting Ellen Degeneres and her appearances on ads featured by JC Penney. The group (which has never shown proof of having one million members) sought out to boycott the store, however they lost the battle with JC Penney supporting Ellen and Ellen ripping them a new birth canal on her show. Now the group has eyed ‘Archie’ comics for publishing a gay wedding. First its a person simply appearing in ads that aren’t gay themed. Now it’s comic books? One can admit their cause of protecting children from unsafe messages in the media may have legitimacy but why such meaningless issues? Their next cause will be eradicating gay flatulation.
Yeah, that’s right. We’re on to you. Everyone knows pigeons hate gay people. They shit everywhere, ruining our nice shirts. They get in the way when you are walking down the street. They fly near your face while on the sidewalk, scaring homos into extremely gay startled gestures. But despite how annoying they are, there is such a large body of research about the bastard animal. There are probably more studies about pigeons than gay people. Someone even went through the trouble to find out pigeons can count. Anyway, someone needed to say it… Forget pigeons.
Adele is the shit an amazing singer. This year, she is breaking records, picking up awards everywhere and even outselling Michael Jackson. She has managed to make music that she doesn’t have to be ashamed of after a decade and she’s gained fame for it. She’s the kind of artist you can bring home to mama. But most importantly, gays love the hell out of her. Through her achievements, she has also gained another honor that must be acknowledged: she is a gay icon.
We knew about her, of course, before everyone else discovered her while she was in her “Chasing Pavements” and “Hometown Glory” days from her first album. We cherished her next to our Kate Nash, accepting Brit chicks as our new obsession. Then of course straight people took her, but something tells me the breeder enemy can’t ruin this one. I don’t think we have to worry about an awkward collaboration with Timbaland or a Young Money business deal in the future with her. She is good—not because of a production behind her or a great team giving her strong appearances. No, people like Adele because Adele is awesome herself. As her records sell, money that would usually go to some freelance songwriter/producer goes to Adele Atkins herself.
But why do NY gays love Adele? Well, there are many reasons. Her songs are raw and real, and as anyone who lives in NY knows this is a gritty city. It makes sense that her songs would act as a natural soundtrack for the Big Apple. Second, so many people talk about Adele’s weight and how she doesn’t look like a stereotypical pop star. Perhaps because of how her image has become the target of the media’s Louisville Sluggers that gays have felt solidarity with her. Also there’s the fact that there’s nothing better than a big, powerful woman.
And finally, one of the biggest reasons NY gays love Adele is because she is a badass. If you cross Adele, she will write a song about you and internationally make millions of dollars, pounds, euros, kronas and canadian dollars off your sorry ass. Who wouldn’t want to make millions off of telling off an ex boyfriend in front of the whole world? For all of these reasons and more, we love adele and her swagger. Hashtag, Adele swag.