17. Brunch

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Gays in New York definitely love brunch. If you happen to have a homo-pal, you will often wake up on a sunday morning to a text that says “brunchies?” There are a million reasons New York gays love brunch, but here are four of the best:

1. Brunch is classy– Nothing says you are a classy bitch person like a good brunch. The whole concept of brunch is that a person is too baller to wake up early for breakfast but also not slovenly to the point that his/her first meal of the day is lunch. There’s a beautiful elegance to brunch in the way that it always implies a sexy casualness to it in between the two meals… which brings me to my next point.

2. It’s the best of breakfast and lunch– The amazing thing about brunch is that some foods you would not normally eat for breakfast or for lunch are allowed in a brunch setting. For instance, in the early hours of the morning it would be a no-no to eat prosciutto or during lunch time you would be forsaken if you ate bacon. But during brunch there are no rules, which includes another beautiful feature of brunch.

3. You can day drink and look sexy for doing so-

Whether it is a mimosa or a Bloody Mary, gays looks so sexy while having a drink during the daytime. If you have a drink for breakfast, you’re an alcoholic. If you have a drink for lunch, you’re an alcoholic. If you have a drink for brunch, you are the sexiest stud that ever hit studtown. This may be due to the fact that if you get right down to it, every gay wants to be Lucille Bluth

4. The morning after gossip– Okay come on, tell the truth shame the devil. Brunch is mainly so we can talk some shit about other people. Brunch is the most social meal and it usually occurs after a night out. So whether it is about a misguided pass someone made after a few to many or maybe it’s just the plain situation of some gay chickenhead stole your man, they need to be discussed.

11. Thinking About Sweets We Shouldn’t Eat

A part of the beauty of NY creates the ugly in your body: the wonderful places to eat. Oh god, just thinking about Magnolia’s Red Velvet Cupcake or any diabetes delicacy from Mollys—not to mention all the street vendors with everything imaginable. It was in New York that the first ice cream cone parlor opened. One main Culprit is the Wafels & Dinges truck that frequents Columbus Circle and Flatiron. Even though dinges sounds disgusting and borderline naughty, it doesn’t matter: everyone would eat a waffle covered with dingeses all day erryday. Those assholes… who can resist this??? Speaking of Flatiron, why is the area around Madison Square Park like the capital of diabetes in NY? Not only are there waffles nearby but there’s also Shakeshack offering custard milkshakes customizable with fudge, caramel, peanut butter, bananas, strawberries, crack preserves, chocolate concrete… okay those aren’t real but you get the point. There is also something that shouldn’t I shouldn’t tell you… no… I won’t… stop reading… really… no, really you’re getting annoying… still?… don’t you have something better to do? OKAY OKAY, I’ll tell you… Incredibly randomly, situated near Madison Square Park is the Girl Scout Council of Greater New York that has a secret store where you can buy girl scout cookies. So you can literally stop by Shakeshack and get girl scout cookies. I’m a bastard for telling you that…