19. Cats

Featured

[Warning: This post will include an overload of cute pictures]

When New York gets to you, it’s nice to have a furry friend to keep you company. We shower cats with the love we haven’t been able to give to a significant other. Unfortunately for the cat, this can be overabundant at times. That’s when cats make that “get the f off of me” face.

Some gays see furry friends as a way to have children without having to deal with diapers or vaginas (aka gay krytonite). That’s why we often call cats our babies, cause they are like people to us. We even ask cats for fashion advice. What you don’t believe me? Look, there’s a video proving all of this.

Why do gays love cats? Well, cats are like gay men: they run away from you when you want them, they scratch when provoked, and no matter what they always land on their feet.

Ok, time to give you what you want…

Thanks to http://hotguyswithkittens.tumblr.com, http://iheartcatgifs.tumblr.com and http://fluffy-kittens.tumblr.com.

16. Apple Products

One of the staples of being a New York Mo is having Apple products from cell phones, to laptops and computers…. but it’s not enough to have just the basics. We have to have the iPad, the wireless mouse, the iFridge, the iPotty, the iEye… oddly enough, Apple is the closest thing we have to the ‘gay lifestyle’ conservatives believe we live. But it makes sense that we have these expensive gadgets: gays are rich enough to own all apple has to offer unlike other people…

Apple knows whats up. Apparently, they hired a fellow homobro to replace Steve Jobs. However, the rest of the world hasn’t caught up with gays when it comes to the iPhone, or any smart phone for that matter; over 90 percent of people do not have smart phones. It’s sad that most of the world is missing out on the beautiful world of things like apps that can help you with directions, scanning documents, even finding love. Speaking of, here at SNYGL we found three helpful dating apps for gays (that are not freaking Grindr):

Date Check– Wanna know if the person you are about to go out on a date with is crazy before you meet them? This free app allows you to enter the name, phone number or email address of your potential date and find out crucial facts that may make you head for the hills. Their tagline? “Look up before you hook up.”

Passion– Wanna know how good you are at sexing people? There’s an app for that! This application will rate your sexual performance based on how long the ordeal lasts, the…ehem… power  (measured by the iPhone’s built-in accelerometer) and how loud you are, rating you a score out of 10. Not only that but you can share your results with people around the world.

iPickup Lines– I don’t really need to explain this app, but I’ll give you examples of suggestions it gives: “I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.” “Baby you’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems.” “POOF! (What are u doing?) I’m here, where are your other two wishes?” “Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!”

…But seriously Apple on behalf of the gay community of New York, we thank you for support. We know you are with us every step of the way; after all, you named your company after a fruit (bu-dum-chic).

14. Celebrity Beefs

Fights are unfortunate when they happen… UNLESS THE PEOPLE ARE FAMOUS!!! When two stars fight, it’s just awesome. Most people on television are ridiculous so when pitted against each other sparks fly. Although some fights have been pretty lame, but some get pretty juicy. Ladies and gentleman it’s time for Celebrity Throwdown, where we ask who would win in a fight between celebrities who have beefs and a pairing we did just for shiggles (see what I did there?):

M.I.A. VS Anderson Cooper

Just last night Sri Lankan recording artist M.I.A. (@MIAuniverse) got into a Twitter fight with Anderson Cooper (@andersoncooper). Their conversation in full is included below. They get pretty heated gurl… It’s so juicy.

We’re not going to get into what they’re arguing about, mostly because it would probably involve a lot of research to understand… and not like a Wiki page browsing research but like I have to sit down, read and comprehend that shit, like New York Times National Geographic-y things…and even if I did it would be really depressing and completely inappropriate on the blog, so we’ll just get to the real question: who would win in a fight?

I know what you’re thinking: Anderson has muscles like whoa, but remember: Anderson Cooper is a 5’10” teddy bear. He’s adorable and most likely not up for a real fight. M.I.A. on the other hand is crazy. Her drum beats are made up of gun shots. She had a falling out with her former producer. She ate your baby. She’s scary, and not in the Nicki Minaj tourettes way but in like a I’ma kill you way. Speaking of…

Nicki Minaj VS Lil’ Kim

One of the most publicized beefs in rap celebrity history has to be Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj. This is because of the fact that Lil’ Kim fell out of relevance and Nicki has not let her forget it. Every one of Nicki Minaj’s songs seem to reference Kimmie. She has said that Kim was a ‘Stupid Hoe’ and that her ‘career was dead, ghostbusters’. Lil Kim has called her a ho too and posted a song herself smearing Minaj.

So who would win a fight? Lil’ Kim went to jail so we know she has some scrap to her. She also dated Notorious B.I.G. and if that doesn’t qualify her as tough, it sure as hell qualifies her as physically strong (I mean, can you imagine their…you know). However, Nicki has multiple personalities along with YMCMB. She also has her secret weapon: her ass. After all, Nicki Minaj’s ass is so big it ate Kim’s career.

Lady Gaga VS Madonna

Lady Gaga and Madonna parodied this rivalry on SNL but recently during media rounds in promotion of her new album MDNA, Madge is tawkin sum mess. She called Gaga’s music reductive and a copy. Gaga… well she’s probably filming for her role in the new Men In Black movie.

So who would win? Madonna gyms incessantly. Her body looks like a coat hanger. It’s gross ut you know she is probably a strong woman. Plus lord knows her body has taken a beating. However Gaga’s body is made out of this. Gaga also has the power to shape shift, though Madonna has the power to eat the youth out of young people.

Meryl Streep VS Chuck Norris

We are risking our lives talking about this, but everyone knows Meryl Streep and Chuck Norris are sworn enemies. Both are known to be older than the earth. They both have superhuman abilities. Both are rumored to be mortal incarnations of Greek gods: Meryl Streep was the Goddess of theatre and slayin’ bitches, Chuck Norris was known to be the the God of the roundhouse kick and emperor of the world. An actual fist fight between the two would probably be the end of the world.

So what if everyone above got into a fight? Who would win? Vote now on the celebrity you think would win.

1. The Ability to Get Married

One of the initial features of The Big Apple that attracts queer eyes has to be without a doubt the ability to get married to someone of the same sex. As of today only five other states allow legal recognition of same-sex couples. It was on Sunday July 24th 2011 that gay couples that had been together for years were able to get married in the eyes of the law in the Big Apple.

On that Sunday, 659 marriage licenses were issued according to Mayor Bloomberg. Gays came out in droves to snatch up licenses before New Yorkers changed their minds. Even a liquidation sale at Crate and Barrel couldn’t have kept the gays away from the county clerk’s office.

Why the fight for marriage? Aside from the highly publicized many legal benefits, marriage has been proved to promote a psychological well-being.  Hundreds of studies have found lower rates of depression, substance abuse, and alcoholism in married couples. And it just so happens that research suggests that those three afflictions happen to be high in the LGBTQ community. In a way, marriage may be more meaningful to gays than heterosexuals because of the potential psychological benefits it may offer.

Unfortunately for many gay couples, the difficulties of having a gay marriage didn’t stop simply because it was deemed as acceptable in the eyes of the law. Gays must endure problems unique to the community.

6 reasons why gay marriage is harder

Taxes:

When Gay marriage was legalized the government was presented with a problem: while the city of New York allows gay marriage, it is not a federal right. This means that when gay couples were to fill out tax information, there would discrepancies in their tax information between New York and US. What New York decided to do was make the ‘inconveniencing, yet equal’ rule that gay couples must fill out two sets of taxes: one for the NY state registering them as a couple and a set they must fill out individually to send to the federal government. A walkthrough exists to guide couples through the process, but it is no doubt extra work and as the NY Times suggested, possibly more expensive if using an accountant.

Lack of resources:

If you are gay couple looking to get married, you probably have gay taste. This means everything has to be #$%$ fabulous (aka a little girl’s Cinderella wedding dreams on gay crack). One thing you may want is a cake topper—wait, where the hell are you going to get a gay cake topper??? And even if you do, will it be serious? You’ll probably have to buy one online and pay more than a straight couple would. Aside from the cake, many catering organizations will roll their eyes at a gay couple wanting their services to help with the wedding. Which brings up another issue…

Health Insurance:

If you are a gay couple looking to get health insurance, you will be charged more than a heterosexual couple. The New York Times released an article that described hypothetical income situations of gay couple and found that it is very expensive to be married to someone of the same sex. Although the numbers aren’t perfect and are based off of many assumptions, the suggestions are very telling.

Finding a Venue:

If you find yourself in a gay couple wanting to get married, you can’t just waltz into any church and say, “Can I host my big gay dream wedding on your premises?” Church of Jesus Christ of LDS doesn’t allow gay marriages (note: this has not been checked, but it’s a Mormon church and we just figured… not that you wanted to get married there… unless you’re a Mormon gay couple and if that’s the case, sorry :/). For a list of places that do, you can click here.

Guests:

For many gay couples planning weddings, the guest list can be a daunting list. For one, if you an uninvited gay finds out you neglected to send them an invitation, shit’s gonna get cray-cray. Hell hath no fury a queer scorned. But more on the serious side, often the issue of who to invite is most problematic when it comes to family and how awkward it may be to tell grandmother not only are you gay but you’re marring someone. Even worse, it is not uncommon for parents not to attend the wedding out of religious beliefs, which can easily put a damper on the whole day. It isn’t too often in heterosexual marriages that parents will be discouraged from attending the event (aside from a parent not liking the person their son/daughter is marrying). However for many gay couples, this is a reality.

Finding all things gay friendly:

When it comes down to it, so much careful planning must go into a gay wedding that heterosexuals do not have to endure. Because of the tradition of having a religious figure serve as the officiant, again there may be problems finding someone who will perform the task. Luckily there exists a list that shows many New York gay friendly organizations that can provide someone. Also, many gay couples desire to get their rings engraved or catered more to the gay community. After some careful searching, even those can be found here.

For more advice for making your gay marriage a stunner, visit gay.weddings.com.