14. Celebrity Beefs

Fights are unfortunate when they happen… UNLESS THE PEOPLE ARE FAMOUS!!! When two stars fight, it’s just awesome. Most people on television are ridiculous so when pitted against each other sparks fly. Although some fights have been pretty lame, but some get pretty juicy. Ladies and gentleman it’s time for Celebrity Throwdown, where we ask who would win in a fight between celebrities who have beefs and a pairing we did just for shiggles (see what I did there?):

M.I.A. VS Anderson Cooper

Just last night Sri Lankan recording artist M.I.A. (@MIAuniverse) got into a Twitter fight with Anderson Cooper (@andersoncooper). Their conversation in full is included below. They get pretty heated gurl… It’s so juicy.

We’re not going to get into what they’re arguing about, mostly because it would probably involve a lot of research to understand… and not like a Wiki page browsing research but like I have to sit down, read and comprehend that shit, like New York Times National Geographic-y things…and even if I did it would be really depressing and completely inappropriate on the blog, so we’ll just get to the real question: who would win in a fight?

I know what you’re thinking: Anderson has muscles like whoa, but remember: Anderson Cooper is a 5’10” teddy bear. He’s adorable and most likely not up for a real fight. M.I.A. on the other hand is crazy. Her drum beats are made up of gun shots. She had a falling out with her former producer. She ate your baby. She’s scary, and not in the Nicki Minaj tourettes way but in like a I’ma kill you way. Speaking of…

Nicki Minaj VS Lil’ Kim

One of the most publicized beefs in rap celebrity history has to be Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj. This is because of the fact that Lil’ Kim fell out of relevance and Nicki has not let her forget it. Every one of Nicki Minaj’s songs seem to reference Kimmie. She has said that Kim was a ‘Stupid Hoe’ and that her ‘career was dead, ghostbusters’. Lil Kim has called her a ho too and posted a song herself smearing Minaj.

So who would win a fight? Lil’ Kim went to jail so we know she has some scrap to her. She also dated Notorious B.I.G. and if that doesn’t qualify her as tough, it sure as hell qualifies her as physically strong (I mean, can you imagine their…you know). However, Nicki has multiple personalities along with YMCMB. She also has her secret weapon: her ass. After all, Nicki Minaj’s ass is so big it ate Kim’s career.

Lady Gaga VS Madonna

Lady Gaga and Madonna parodied this rivalry on SNL but recently during media rounds in promotion of her new album MDNA, Madge is tawkin sum mess. She called Gaga’s music reductive and a copy. Gaga… well she’s probably filming for her role in the new Men In Black movie.

So who would win? Madonna gyms incessantly. Her body looks like a coat hanger. It’s gross ut you know she is probably a strong woman. Plus lord knows her body has taken a beating. However Gaga’s body is made out of this. Gaga also has the power to shape shift, though Madonna has the power to eat the youth out of young people.

Meryl Streep VS Chuck Norris

We are risking our lives talking about this, but everyone knows Meryl Streep and Chuck Norris are sworn enemies. Both are known to be older than the earth. They both have superhuman abilities. Both are rumored to be mortal incarnations of Greek gods: Meryl Streep was the Goddess of theatre and slayin’ bitches, Chuck Norris was known to be the the God of the roundhouse kick and emperor of the world. An actual fist fight between the two would probably be the end of the world.

So what if everyone above got into a fight? Who would win? Vote now on the celebrity you think would win.